On Saturday I was checking my twitter time line and read the unfortunate tweet from Stacey McBride-Irby and the sad news of the death of Karyn Washington, creator of the website ForBrownGirls.com. A website for women of darker complexion could go and be inspired, feel beautiful and love their beautiful skin. Her life over at age 22, here is the link.
Demons? According to one of the dictionary description the word means a person, habit, obsessions, etc., thought of as evil, cruel, or persistently tormenting. Was it a stigma? A mark of disgrace or infamy; a stain or reproach, as on one's reputation. A blot, blemish, stain? Only she knows why she ended her life by suicide, only her God knows.
I don't know if it is just me or if I was fortunate to be surrounded by positive influences throughout my life. I have always loved everything about me and who I am. NO ONE could ever tell me something that would break my spirits down or make me not love the woman in the mirror. After all we are the descendants of the Queens of Africa and they were beautiful, smart, intelligent, stop you in your tracks gorgeous! If they can command legion of armies, handle the Roman and Greeks, how can you not want to aspire to be great?
Miss. Washington was beautiful and smart. She was a doll, she was a queen. Her only flaw was mental illness. Defined in the medical dictionary as various disorders characterized chiefly by abnormal behavior or an inability to function socially, including diseases of the mind and personality and certain diseases of the brain. Also called mental disease , mental disorder.
Our children, especially our little brown girls can not and should not grow up thinking they are not beautiful because of the color of their skin. This is not only heartbreaking but a slap in the face for all those women who kicked in and knocked the doors down in showcasing the diversity our skin tones comes in. They need to taught they are beautiful. They need to learn what their individual beauty is their blessing. They need to be expose to positive images all the times.
I know you are beautiful just like your mother, grandmother, nieces and goddaughters. I know when they look in the mirror they know they are beautiful. I'm just as beautiful too. Yes, I'm vain, I do love myself!
Have a Great Week Everyone.
This was really shocking to hear. We have to find a way to unteach our little girls and boys that society and the media does not reflect all types of beauty. This upsets me especially when just last year Newsweek published an article that black women were polled to be the least sought after women out of all ethnic groups. Even among black men. As a mother of a beautiful brown girl, I will do everything in my power to ensure my daughter feels worthy, beautiful and understand that she matters. I've also noticed that our natural hair is under fire now more and more. It's like every time we pull away from social acceptance and find the beauty within ourselves, they want to beat it out of us. I am so sorry for this young woman's passing and my heart goes out to her family, friends and all of us who knew her and was inspired by her. The world lost out on such a beautiful person.
ReplyDeleteI so agree with you. I can't get over the fact that she was just 22! I wasn't thinking about anybody but me! It's really heavy on the heart when there is no indication of what would be the turning point for individuals who find it hard to cope. I had a high school friend that killed himself on the day of our high school graduation and it was not easy. For that whole week, we all hung out enjoying our senior activities. Next morning my parent told me the news and my mother asked me was Ricardo upset about anything and there was nothing I could tell her. There was no "signs", I don't think I could look at my high school year book. His parent never recovered and I don't think any of us really have.
DeleteHi Brini, it is shocking to read that such a young person has chosen to end her life. I read in the article she suffered from depression, and in that state of mind one is in such a dark place, that stepping out of life seems like the right solution to end the pain. So sorry to hear this news. It reminds me of a young Belgian singer who did the same a few years ago, she was so talented, but what went on in her mind? Nobody knows. It's sad, young people still have to start to live their life in full...
ReplyDeleteI should have nuanced in my previous comment: it sometimes seems (in this state of mind) the right solution...
DeleteIt really is a sad situation all around. I can't imagine how her family is coping. I'm sure she will be missed. She was an inspiration to many, she was shining star and didn't even know it.
DeleteQue terrible y triste noticia.
ReplyDeleteLo siento mucho.
Querramonos mucho y hagamoslo saber a nuestros hijos.
Un beso.
Una historia triste. Vivimos en tiempos difíciles y hacer frente podría ser difícil para algunos, pero nuestros hijos, cónyuges y memember familia extensa tienen que estar ahí, hay que saber que son amados.
DeleteThis is very sad news, every death is a tragedy. I never heard about this girl, but feel sorry for her.
ReplyDeleteAs a white european woman I have to admit we too have a problem because of our skin color and we too are judged after it. Here is not socially acceptable to have pale skin, we are pushed to have dark skin, which I find highly offending and ridiculous. When white woman has pale skin then automatically is found as ugly , not attractive and people often feel that's is ok for them to go and tell to pale woman to go and get some sun. Personally I love my very pale skin,and would never even consider making it darker, but because of it I'm often dealing with people's rudness, even if I am an adult woman, 33, and not 20 something girl. I think brown girls have similar situation, just in exactly opposite way. I think people of all colors should be simply left alone do decide how they want to look.
African history that you mentioned seems very interesting! I heard very little about ancient African countries, maybe about Nubia, but that's all I think. In school we were mostly teached about white cultures such as an ancient Greece, Egypt or Rome. Pity I don't know more about African and Asian cultures.I would be very greatful for any resources.
It is unfortunate that the color of our skin determines how one is treated. I never grew up thinking my brown skin was "inferior". I hope it wasn't one of the factors in this young woman life. Your are so right about the "issue" being exactly opposite. Like you, I love the skin I am in and for me to get some sun would only make it shine like gold, lol. I was never taught to judge someone by their skin only by the way they treated me and if it was bad then that was the last interaction with them. I pasted a link for you below and I hope you enjoy it, don't worry about Greece, Egypt or Rome, African were all in that history too, LOL. It tell you about the great kings and queens of Africa. Anheuser Busch beer company used to use this during Black History Month here in the states. I still have my calendar too. I used to make my son read who was featured and then we would go to the library and research them. Some one told me one day that our ancestors survived the journey on the slave ships and always remember we come from the kings and queens of Africa. Let me know if you enjoy it.
Deletehttp://wn.com/the_great_kings_queens_of_africa
Hello from Spain: this news is very sad. She was too young. I'm so sorry and pray. Keep in touch
ReplyDeleteVery sad indeed. I hope her family can get pass this as well.
DeleteI am so sorry to hear of this. I didn't know Karyn personally or publicly. I just want people to know that depression and mental illness is not always a result of anything external. Most of the time medication is needed as with other diseases.
ReplyDeleteIt is a MEDICAL condition that people who come from healthy, supportive families can also have. So sad.
It really is and the thing is it can manifest at anytime. I don't think young people understand that there is hope. They are being brainwashed to think something is wrong if you don't have this or that or you don't look like this or that and it is a dangerous rope for many. When I was 22 yrs old was living the time of my life AND it was all about me! I was so in love with myself I was too selfish and what funny now my son is the same way. He told me one day that it might be awhile before he settles down. He said he was so in love with his self that he could not fathom investing in anyone else. Yes, he is really vain and so far healthy. I defied what society was saying about the black male child.
DeleteThanks for such a compassionate and informative post! I live with a mental illness and it's nice to see people trying to get rid of the stigma.
ReplyDeleteBig Hugs and Kisses,
Ruth
I hate that there is a stigma and I hate that people only response is "they"re crazy" or "something is wrong with them". I don't think people understand there is help. Living everyday is hard enough but to have "insecurities" makes it even more difficult. When people find out that I collect dolls and I sew for them they think that is the "wierdiest" thing and I just laugh. It so sad to think that they were blessed with an creative outlet that they have not taped into it! Everyone has a talent that they can get loss in rather it be sewing, painting, photography etc. It help me to detox from life twist and turns and other sidebar issues. It hard to stay positive when other "arrows" are coming at you. No one said this life was going to be easy, so it is important for us to be "amour up" in faith.
DeleteThanks so much for sharing this story. Wow, this is so sad. I have to reiterate what some others have said about the mental illness part of this. Rational thinking and mental illness do not go together. Years ago I dated someone with a mental illness. Without daily meds and a weekly visit to the psychiatrist, he would fall deep into that depression and want to kill himself. With meds he was an incredible scientist who thrived in society. No one would even know he had problems without him telling them.
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to Karyn and her family. She appeared to be a young lady who did love herself on some level. To step into the spotlight and shine the light on issues of colorism takes a brave soul and someone with confidence. Thanks for sharing this.
Too sad and to young!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this tragic news, I think it also highlights what a beautiful job you do of sharing positive role models and influences in how your dolls interact. I am grateful that she inspired you and you are able to carry on her legacy so very meaningfully {{{HuGs}}}
ReplyDeleteYou have the right attitude about yourself. I love that! :)
ReplyDelete